The Unspoken Bias in Feedback: 5 ways to break down gender stereotypes in your workplace through effective feedback
Recently a female client shared with me that her manager had given her feedback that she, “needs to improve as a leader”. She’s a senior leader in her organization, and wasn’t quite sure what he meant. She asked him, “What do I need to improve? How? I really need more guidance here.” He didn’t provide any additional information, leaving her confused and frustrated without any concrete examples or suggestions.
I reflected on this chat and realised that I’ve never had a male say anything like this to me. I decided to do a bit of research into gender-biased feedback and I was shocked. As it turns out, gender bias in providing feedback is a pervasive issue that can impact women's career advancement opportunities.
As a leader, giving feedback is a critical part of personal and professional growth. Without feedback, our people can’t improve themselves and their skills. However, the problem with feedback is that it often falls on deaf ears. Why? We’ve all received lousy feedback at some point in our lives. The kind of feedback that's vague, non-specific, and useless. The kind of feedback that leaves you wondering what the person meant and how to improve. Turns out this type of feedback is often experienced in gender-biased feedback.
Studies show that women receive more vague and subjective feedback than men. Women are told that they need to be more "assertive," "confident," and "dominant," while men are told that they need to be more "collaborative," "sensitive," and "supportive." This type of feedback perpetuates gender stereotypes and does not help women advance in their careers. So, let's call it out. Let's give women the same feedback as men – specific, clear, and practical.
Getting Started
When giving feedback, it’s important to be in a private spot at a time that works for both of you. Let them know what you’re about to talk about, and make sure you go in with an open mind, ready to think objectively.
But how do you start this type of conversation? It’s often difficult to know what to say!
One tip to get the conversation started is to talk about how you feel (it’s not easy for many people!) Start by sharing what emotion the action or behaviour the other caused for you - Are you angry, anxious, sad, disappointed? Or happy, surprised, or thankful?
The best way to do this is to start the conversation with, “I feel …..” and then talk about how it impacts you, rather than immediately blaming the other person. Then let the facts follow.
Providing Effective Feedback that Breaks Down Gender Bias
So you’re now ready to provide the feedback, but how can you do that without being gender-biased? Here are 5 ways to give feedback that breaks down gender stereotypes, while being effective and actionable:
1. Ditch the Sandwich:
First and foremost, let's ditch the sandwich technique. You know the one, where you start with a positive comment, then insert the criticism, and end with another positive comment. This technique is outdated, overused, and ineffective. People see through it, and it comes across as disingenuous. Instead, be direct and honest. Give feedback that is specific, clear, and actionable. Don't sugarcoat it. Tell it like it is, but in a respectful manner. It's not about being mean or hurtful, but about being honest and helping the person improve.
2. Be Specific:
Avoid using vague or general statements. Instead, give feedback that is specific to the situation or behavior you are addressing. For example, instead of saying "you need to be more assertive," say "in the meeting yesterday, you didn't speak up when your idea was dismissed. Next time, try to assertively express your thoughts and ideas."
3. Avoid Stereotypes:
Avoid using stereotypes or gendered language. For example, instead of saying "you need to be more nurturing," say "you need to be more supportive of your team members' needs and concerns."
4. Focus on Behaviour, not Personality:
Focus on the person's behaviour or actions, not their personality or character. Avoid making judgments or assumptions about the person's traits. For example, instead of saying "you're lazy," say "you missed the deadline on the report, can you tell me what happened and how we can avoid this in the future?"
5. Offer Solutions and Support:
Don't just point out the problem, offer solutions and support. Help the person understand how they can improve and provide resources or guidance to help them achieve their goals. For example, instead of saying "you're not meeting expectations," say "let's work together to identify areas where you can improve and create a plan to achieve your goals."
Which of the above feedback tips can you begin to implement immediately? Make it a priority to show your managers and leaders how to give great feedback within your organisation, effective, actionable and free from gender bias. This will ensure strong, supported, and assertive leaders for the future, as well as a more inclusive and equitable workplace.